October 26, 2008
We are all very familiar with teaching from Jesus that we are supposed to love God & love neighbor. We are so familiar with it we may take it for granted.
If we were to take this teaching seriously, how would we live it out. Love is such a broad term that we could take in so many different ways. I love movies by Woody Allen. I love rock groups like the Smiths or the Cure. I love to ride my mountain bike. I hate tv & radio commercials. I hate it when people throw their garbage on the ground whether it is here at the church, in the mountains or really anywhere. I hate bad coffee. I hate elevator music or music that is played in most dentist offices.
Most of the time when we think of love and hatred with think of the emotion of like & dislike. We use our gut to discern what is good & what is bad. We may think of preferences. Over these things, we have very little control. As the saying goes, there is no accounting for taste. Some like country music, others like rap or Christian.
This is not the type of love that Jesus is talking about. There are generally three types of love. There is eros, filia, and agape. We are attracted to things whether they are objects or people. I imagine some men can have an erotic relationship with a possession like a car. With Eros, we desire something. We want to consume it whether it is a hot fudge sundae or a woman or man that strikes our fancy. With eros it is all emotion & desire. Luckily the emotion of eros wears off, otherwise it may be difficult to get any work done in life.
Philia is a wonderful type of love. It is the love between friends & comrades. It directed toward the relationship as well as to a common purpose. Soldiers who are fighting the common enemy are bonded by philia. The two baseball teams, the Devil Rays & the Philies are bonded by philia. They strive as a team to win the world series. Those who work together well in an office or on some project would be bonded by filia. Love between good friends also would be philia. For example the HBO series & movie, Sex & the City, is based upon the love of 4 professional women in NYC. They love each other as great friends as they make their way through life. Phlia is an underrated and extremely important type of love that is necessary for everyone. We can certainly live without eros but we cannot live a meaningful life without philia.
The last type of love is agape. This is the love that God loves us with. It is the love that we strive to love others as Christians. The object of agape is to perfect the person who is giving the unconditional perfect love. Agape is a rare form of love. Very few people are able to love this way. We all attach conditions to love even to love relationships that we use as examples of agape such as love between parents & children. If we are to be honest very few parents & very few children ever achieve this type of love. Agape is pure love that is solely for the good of the person receiving that type of love. As human beings our love is rarely if ever this pure.
We are given the teaching that we are to love God & love neighbor. This is a teaching that requires us to experience life & to learn how to love. Dante wrote the divine comedy about love. In particular, one was either led to heaven or hell based upon what they loved. Those in hell were drawn there because of their love object. All in hell were drawn to the part of hell based upon their greed, lust, & miserliness. Those who were drawn to heaven went there because they loved God. They had mastered agape. They were able to love in a selfless fashion.
Love is not for those who are bleeding hearts. Love is not for those who are naïve. Love is a choice that is aware of the desires of the human heart. It may be the tough love of a person allowing a family member to hit rock bottom by not enabling the drunk or addict to continue to manipulate & lie. It may be the love of encouraging and helping a child, adolescent, or young adult to continue their studies at high school or college. It may be the love of one who chooses to leave his or her abusive spouse for the good of their him/herself & their children. We love with our hearts & our heads. True love does not force us to make foolish decisions. We love with our eyes wide open. We love willfully & deliberately. We choose to act for the good of another, a group, a nation, and the entire world. We willfully make sacrifices for the greater good.
Jesus willfully & perfectly loved his Father & us. All of his actions were an expression of his perfect love. He eventually sacrificed everything for our good. We are reunited to the Father through his love & we are given an example that we should try to imitate if we are to be his followers. We celebrate the sacrament of his love as we celebrate the eucharist.